Ok it's time.

I've been back to work 3 full weeks and 2 days.  I've been to the gym once.  What the fuck is up with that.  I told myself I was going to really get back to it.  The one day I did go, it was so friggin busy it turned me right off.  But I just have to go at a different time that's all.  Today is Wednesday.  I am going to the gym as of Monday, February 4, 2013 if it kills me.  I will fight myself.  MotherF-er!!  I'm at my all time heaviest and I fucking hate it.  Seriously...it's not right.  How does one loose control that badly.  And I can't play the "Just had 2 babies" card anymore...There ONE!!  I don't want to be the Fat mom...the one where her kids say "Mommy how come your belly is so big"  Ya I've heard that before.  Or this one, "Do you have a baby in there" Um..no thanks! 
I brought my Eat Clean Recharged book to work today.  On my break I'm going to run through it and make some notes for myself.  I'm gonna do this again.  I am.  I did it before.  I'm gonna do it again.  I am. 
I'm also going to get my fat ass in the gym too.  I remember when I loved it.  I really did love working out.  Fuck, we bought a $700 jogging stroller cause I was going to start running.  When there's no snow I can get out with them and run or walk or whatever...
I know exactly what my problem is tho.  I make excuses for myself.  Just because he's eating chips doesn't mean I have to.  That's his body not mine.  He has to live in his own body, not me.  I have to live in mine, so why wouldn't I treat it well. 
I wonder what changed in me.  Why wouldn't I want to continue to eat healthy and exercise.  I know I was tired after the girls. Jeez, I still am.  But I have to make that time for me.  For my body, my health, for my happiness, for my girls - to show them how they should eat as adults and how to be a healthy human being.  It only makes sence.  I mean, if they see Marty and I eat like shit, then they will also eat that way.  I guess it has to stop with us.
Well...this is it.  It stops HERE. It stops NOW.

Another week bites the dust.

Well it's Monday.  Thank god.  The past week has been so sick to say the least.  And when I say Sick I don't mean, Rad, Awesome or Fun.  I mean Sick.  We have had 2 sick girlies.  Coughing, Runny Noses, High Fever.  Not fun at al.  It's true what they say, sick kids are so pitiful.  It was brutal.  But we managed to get through it, with a trip to the walk in and another trip to emerg.  Dr's said it was viral.  So we just do the Tylenol and Advil thing and hope for the best.  Friggin pain.  Lots of timid baths, wiping noses and cuddles.  They were still drinking and eating, so that was a Very good sign.  This morning, no fevers and off to daycare we went.  It's much warmer out than last week.  Now, I say warmer, but by all means it's not warm, it's just warmer than this crazy -25 that we have had. 

So here's hoping for a good week, all around...Daycare, Work and no Sickness with Happy Girls. 

A shout out to Daddy, for all his help and patience.  The girls have been wanting lots of snuggles from him and have been getting it.  Thank you Daddy, you're a great Dad to our girls!

So on a happier note, I finally got some usesage back from my laptop! Yay!  We managed to buy a cheap keyboard, plugged er in and Tada! It works...so I posted a few Christmas and Birthday pics on Facebook last night, FINALLY!  I will post a few on here too...within the next few days.  So slowly things are getting back to normal.  Luckily we had the iPad to get online with, otherwise it would have been nuts!!!

So I just realized, today, is the last day of the month.  Really?! The first month of 2013 is already done and gone.  Amazing.  Waiting for good things to come.  Waiting for big changes.  Bring it on.

Week 1 down...

Ok, a little late on posting.  Reason: Laptop still outta commision and it's MUCH harder to type something longer than a small email on the iPad. 
So we managed to complete Week 1 of work and Daycare.  We're all still alive and ready to take on the world.  Well, not the world, but the bus system in London and work life.  I feel great and things are happy right now.  Good times.  Girls seem to be adjusting well to Daycare.  Which is so great.  They love Heidi, she's great and Mommy and Daddy are extremely happy with her too.  So things are good there.  And well for me, being back to work, has been great.  I know, people say, how can work be great..?  It is tho.  Getting back into it has been easier than I thought actually.  Remembering things ALOT faster than I thought I would.  Good and Bad...can't really slack for long! lol Just kiddin...! I'm no slacker...HAHA

Into our secoind week now, so far so good.  Weekend was good.  Didn't get ANY of the cleaning done that we wanted tho.  Gawd it flies.  You want to cram so much in, things you didn't manage to accomplish in the week...but after you actually sit when the girls are napping, you just don't want to clean...you wnat to do just that and SIT!  Hopefully this weekend is a more productive one.  My goodness we have so much to do...wanna know what....

Vaccumm the ENTIRE apartment.
Wash all floors
Wash the patio door windows of little smears and finger prints
Laundry, it's a given, we have it every weekend
Change the livingroom around
Put the girls little kitchen together and put it out for them to play with
I need to go through some clothes of theirs to donate and sell

So that's it for now I think.  Oh and Saturday night I am going out for a celebatory drink with a few friends for Carols Birthday.  Looking forward to it.  Won't be a late night tho, as god knows what time the girls will be up.  It's funny, when you do finally get to go out and let loose, you still have to wake up in the morning with them, you kinna forget that eh! Arg! 

Happy Wednesday!

We made it!

Oh my god we did it!!  We made it through our very first day of work and our first day of daycare...and we're still alive and kicking.  The girls don't hate me for leaving them, at least I don't think they do.  They were is GREAT moods last night, lots of laughs and played so well.  Thank god!  I worried they'd be super cranky all night but not AT ALL!  Plus, when bedtime came, no crying at all...they must have been pooped!

So all in all, life is good. 

I soooo enjoyed my first day back.  I felt like me again.  Not that I lost myself, well, I sorta did for a bit there.  But I think that's normal.  But I felt human, I felt like a working person again.  My brain was in use again, but now it's not just baby stuff and Treehouse, it's actually thinking about things that are not baby related.  Don't get me wrong, I thought about my girls alot yesterday and of course today as well.  But it was just a different feeling.  A feeling I like, alot.  The beginning of the beginning. 

I just made the cusp for a Ipod Nano that the company was giving employees for Christmas, as the last 3 weeks counted as vacation, so therefore I was technically back from MAT leave and just on vacation...Awesome...then I got a raise, double AWESOME!! 

I am thankful for a great day yesterday...and so far today has been following suite.  Now, I just have to get my ass back to the gym.  But my application in, so next week I'll be good to go.  I can't wait.  Does that sound weird, I can't wait to hit the gym...this past year hasn't been nearly as physical as I would have liked.  Don't get me wrong, taking care of 2 babies...running after both, lifting and such is physical, but I would have love to get out running and walking more.  So here's my chance to get back at er!  Very excited!

Stay tuned for more updates.  I will bare it all...including my weight...maybe.  ;)